23rd - 26th November 2026
Preparing for the Dark
A men's retreat for exploring what's calling you forward as the year turns toward winter.
"The night will give you a horizon further than you can see." - David Whyte, Sweet Darkness
What's your soul asking for? What is the one life you can call your own?
At some point in our life we will find ourselves at a crossroads, waiting, wondering, asking the question, “which direction do I go now?” How we approach this question - and all the questions that follow - will lead us on the adventure of the second half of our life. Winter is a doorway, mystery is a language, and darkness offers a way to hear the call of the part of us that knows.
As autumn moves into winter and the days grow shorter, something shifts. Nature begins to slow down, release what's no longer needed, and prepare for the colder months ahead. For men navigating these turbulent and uncertain times, this seasonal turning offers a powerful invitation: What do I need to let go of? What's calling me forward? What wants my attention that I haven't made space for?
Preparing for the Dark is a retreat for men who sense that something needs to change, but aren't yet sure what. It's for those feeling the pull toward a different way of being - more authentic, more alive, more aligned with what truly matters. It's for men who recognize that to meet the challenges ahead, they need to forge a deeper relationship with themselves.
Led by Oliver Bettany and Alistair Mayor, experienced guides in men's work, psychotherapy and ecopsychology, this retreat creates space for exploring the inner territory that often gets ignored in the rush of daily life. Through immersive experiences in nature, you'll learn to listen to the wisdom that lives beneath your conscious thoughts - the intuition, the dreams, the quiet knowing that gets drowned out by busyness and noise.
Set in The Dreaming's 47 acres of Welsh woodland as winter approaches, this isn't about forced introspection or emotional catharsis. It's about building a relationship with the deeper currents of your life - learning to access the rooted, trustworthy energy that can guide you when rational thinking falls short, when life gets difficult, when the path forward isn't clear.
What to Expect
This retreat is intentionally timed for late November, when darkness comes early and the year is winding down. Over four days, you'll move through a programme designed to help you connect with something deeper than your thinking mind - call it soul, intuition, the unconscious, or simply that part of you that knows things your conscious mind does not.
The retreat weaves nature connection with creative and symbolic work. You'll work with fire and earth, spend time alone in the landscape, engage with poetry and myth that speak to the archetypal patterns shaping men's lives. These aren't intellectual exercises; they're embodied practices that create pathways to the parts of yourself you may have learned to ignore or repress.
This work is about preparation in the truest sense: forging a relationship with the inner resources you'll need when external circumstances become challenging. It's about learning to trust what you know in your bones, to befriend the unknown, to access the wild, rooted energy that doesn't depend on everything going according to plan.
This retreat is for you if:
You're sensing it's time for something in your life to shift
You sense there's more to life than the script you've been following
You want to learn practices for navigating uncertainty and transition
You're curious about connecting with something deeper than your thinking mind
You recognize that intellect and willpower alone aren't enough
You're willing to be uncomfortable in service of something meaningful
Whether you're facing a specific crossroads or simply feeling that restlessness Brené Brown describes as "a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you're supposed to live" - this retreat offers space, guidance, and companionship for the journey.
No previous experience is necessary. Just a willingness to show up honestly and engage with whatever arises. Whether you are completely new to this kind of work or have been walking this path for years, you are welcome.
Your Guides
Oliver Bettany and Alistair Mayor are experienced practitioners in men's work, nature connection, and rites of passage. They create containers that are simultaneously adventurous and safe, challenging and nourishing - holding space for men to explore the full range of who they are.
Their approach weaves ancient wisdom with contemporary understanding of men's development, using the land as primary teacher.
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Ollie is a counsellor, ecopsychologist, teacher and men's work leader living on the edge of Dartmoor with his wife and son. Over fifteen years as a therapist and activist, he has supported individuals and organisations through periods of profound transition and change - bringing his deep grounding in humanistic counselling, archetypal psychology, shadow work and soul into everything he does.
He is the founder of Wild Oak CIC and The Wellspring, a men's mentoring community in South Devon, where he works at the intersection of nature, psyche and belonging to address the quiet epidemic of male isolation.Ollie's practice is rooted in the understanding that a sense of individual balance and wholeness can only be attained through an experience of connectedness with the wilder parts of ourselves and the world.
Drawing on specialised training in ecopsychology and nature-based practice, he weaves together the wisdom of thinkers like Jung, Bill Plotkin and James Hollis with the poetry of Rilke, Rumi, David Whyte and Mary Oliver and - most importantly - direct encounter with the wild and living world.
He works with individuals, couples and groups, holding space for the kind of slow, honest reckoning that the soul asks of us, particularly at life's threshold moments.
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Alistair is a father, a psychotherapist, a dancer, a supervisor, a trainer, and a group facilitator. He’s most comfortable on the hills or the dance floor.
With over 20 years’ experience as a therapist, Alistair has worked with a diverse collection of people in a variety of settings. Ha began his career working with substance misuse and vulnerable young people, running a “Super Dads” program for dads and their kids, and was involved with “A Band of Brothers” in the early days. He has also spent many years teaching and bringing dozens of counsellors into the world to take the work further.
He’s passionate about keeping it real, focusing on actual noticeable change, and keeping connected to our bodies and the land we walk on.
What People Are Saying
“Ollie is a wonderful facilitator. He holds space with an open curiosity, huge compassion and groundedness. His gentle humour and humanness helps you feel at ease, and he is clearly massively passionate about sharing what he has learnt and supporting others in this journey.”
“Deep gratitude to you dear Ollie. You have a real gift, a gentle strength and power of insight. I’m so grateful I got to experience it. Thank you for everything! Deep bow.”
“Thank you so much Ollie. You have been so inspiring. I will be eternally grateful to you for all that you have shared with us. This has been a transformative experience and your ability to hold space is wonderful.”
Booking Details
Dates : 7th August - 10th August 2026
Check In : 3pm
Check Out : 10am
Location : Rhydoldog House, Rhayader, Wales, LD6 5HB
For more info on how to get here, click here.
Pricing
Pricing is on a sliding scale based on your room choice, starting from £651.
What’s Included:
3 night’s luxury accommodation
All of your nourishing home cooked food & drinks
Beautifully curated retreat programme
Access to 47 acres of ancient, breathtaking lands
Access to our natural plunge pools
Enjoy our tranquil home and gardens
The Location
Nestled in the heart of the Elan Valley, Wales. Our retreat offers a serene and rejuvenating environment, away from busy work life, whatever the weather.
Set within forty seven glorious acres of ancient land, The Dreaming is a rural wonder which offers true serenity and blissful tranquility. Once a 15th century Cistercian monastery, this fabulous property passed through Georgian and Victorian aristrocratic families to the designer Laura Ashley and her family in the 20th century.
Laura Ashley directed her multinational interior design company from Rhydoldog House and then, in 2020, our founder Charlotte Church, with the help of talented collaborators, reimagined, refurbished and reconfigured it.
Our Rooms
Luxurious rooms with modern amenities awaits you, each designed by award winning designers to provide comfort and tranquility.
Each rooms interior reflect our passion for other cultures. Natural materials and tactile draping create den-like spaces, whilst original floorboards and textured walls give coherence and a cosseting feel to the seven rooms, each with its own distinct name and character.
The essence of connection thrives through our shared rooms. Our distinctive approach assigns beds individually rather than by room, encouraging meaningful interactions with fellow guests.
Embracing shared living is ingrained in The Dreaming’s values, creating an environment where bonds flourish.
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For 2 Individuals Sharing
Inspired by Luna herself, The Moon is designed to honour the lunar goddesses. Using handmade natural materials, it is a purifying and calming space, with soft flowing white fabrics. Luxurious beds with fabric privacy screens, a spacious seating area, and an ensuite with moon-shaped bath overlooking the Moon Garden.
It is south facing, overlooking the Elemental garden, with a breathtaking view of the Nant Caethon Valley.
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Mixed Gender Dorm / For Four Individuals Sharing / 4 x Single Beds
An exceptional space designed for four guests to experience the perfect blend of tranquility and connection.
South-facing with a private balcony, this room offers breathtaking views of the Elemental garden and the Nant Caethon Valley, making it the perfect setting for shared moments of peace and reflection. The room's hand-sewn furnishings, crafted from a collection of rich Indian saris, shift in colour as the day progresses, adding to the room's vibrant yet serene ambiance. Its spacious seating area and single beds with fabric privacy screens provide both comfort and intimacy, while encouraging guests to relax, unwind, and enjoy quality time together.
The ensuite bathroom features a stunning golden tadelakt shower, enveloped by lush botanical plants, creating a truly rejuvenating experience. Whether you're here to bond with loved ones or create new memories with friends, The Mystic Room is a haven that invites relaxation, connection, and renewal. Sharing this beautiful space enhances the experience, offering not just a room, but a sanctuary for togetherness. South-facing with a balcony, to take in the breathtaking views of the Elemental garden and the Nant Caethon Valley.
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For 2 individuals sharing
The best place to experience the breaking of day, The Dawn is south facing with a balcony to enjoy the view of the Elemental garden and the Nant Caethon Valley.
The handmade soft furnishings were created using natural dyes to reflect the colours of sunrise, bringing a brightness to the room. With luxurious beds and fabric privacy screens, a seating area, rustic pine furniture, and an altar to honour the solar deities, a stay in The Dawn is an energy restoring experience. Its bathroom is across the hall, and has a Moroccan-inspired tangerine tadelakt shower.
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For 2 Individuals Sharing
Inspired by the wonders of mycelium (the network of fungal threads that connects all the plants of the forest together) The Mushroom is designed and crafted using rustic natural materials to achieve an earthy, grounded feel, dark antique wooden furniture and warm neutral tones in its spacious seating area, and luxurious beds with fabric privacy screens.
It is south facing, overlooking the Elemental garden, with a breathtaking view of the Nant Caethon Valley, and includes an ensuite bathroom, with a walk-in shower, and a bath with a view, surrounded by a selection of botanical plants.
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For 3 Individuals Sharing
A stay at The Wanderer is an immersive experience, with natural materials and artefacts from Africa, Peru and Mexico. This is the room for explorers, and has a spacious seating area, and luxurious beds with fabric privacy screens.
The room is south facing, overlooking the Elemental garden, with a breathtaking view of the Nant Caethon Valley, and includes an ensuite bathroom, with a shower and bath, and a window seat to take in the view.
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For 1 Individual or Couples
Honouring the design and forest reverence in Japanese culture, Forest Spirits is north facing and overlooks the ancient woodland.
With traditional Japanese tatami flooring, a spacious seating area, and a luxurious king-size bed, the room also has an ensuite bathroom with a black tadelakt shower and a porcelain lotus sink. Immersive Japanese experience for all of the senses, including the scent of traditional Japanese Tatami Mats.
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For 2 Individuals Sharing
North-facing to the deep forests, The Womb is a celebration of womanhood. With soft flowing fabrics, all handmade and dyed using natural ingredients, it has the nourishing, secure feeling of being swaddled. Luxurious beds with fabric privacy screens, a seating area, and a playful ensuite with a pink tadelakt shower.